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What I Learned from Decades of New Year’s Resolutions

By Lori Perkins



I have kept a journal for close to five decades, so I have volumes of New Year’s resolutions and they are almost all the same – my annual Greek chorus of ways to improve my life


Lose weight

Exercise

Write more

Read more

Make more money

Save more


But, after the pandemic and surviving stage 3 cancer, chemo and radiation, my life changed.  I became profoundly aware that I have little control over what the world presents to me and that I am not even in control of my own timeline.


All I am really in charge of is myself -my actions and my interior thoughts. It became very clear to me that I am not in control of anything but how I behave and the most important elements in my life are the people and my relationships with them. Cancer taught me to appreciate my people, so that is what I will be focusing on.  I have truly learned to accept what I cannot change, and I will focus on that which I can make a difference.


And as we enter 2025, I am steadfastly resolved to put people before politics. It is not going to be easy.


And so I have given up on resolutions and I want to be…better


I want to be 

        a better friend

        a kinder person

        a true mentor

        find my joy every day (I wrote about finding joy last year)

        Thankful


Of course, every day, I am thankful for being alive and being cancer-free.


But, in light of what I see ahead, I am thankful that I live in a blue state, and specifically in New York City.


One of the things that both the pandemic and my cancer journey taught me is that I no longer need much.  I don’t “sport shop” anymore.  I have been throwing things out (in a responsible, recyclable way) and giving things away.  I don’t care about what the new colors for fall are, or the latest hairstyle.


I am also thankful that I know who I am and who the people in my life are, and I don’t have to worry about where anyone stands. I can choose to surround myself with what some people call “my bubble.”  That’s OK with me. I will not dim my light.


I am a publisher of a lot of LGBT content, and I plan on continuing to do that.  I am fearful that the bigger publishers will trim that part of their list, but I am committed to what I believe.


I see hard times ahead for many of us, but I am thankful that I know I am resilient, and that I also know that I still have the strength to help others.


I would sincerely love to hear yours 2025 New Year’s goals. Please send them to me at lori@romanceDailyNews.com



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